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Home Articles on NLP Be flexible – if what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different

Be flexible – if what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different

Articles on NLP
If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different is so commonsensical that one would think everyone is following it. But most people don’t. On the contrary, they expend more effort on what is not working or they make attempts to justify their action as the only correct way of dealing with something. In such a situation, what they need most is flexibility.

One good way to acquire flexibility is to imitate and learn from others who already have it. Observe how they have considerable flexibility in their job and can choose how to do things, or how they build flexibility into a system, or how they employ great flexibility in their use of resources. People are good at what they do and they create flexibility to change readily to meet new circumstances.

You can increase your flexibility by freeing yourself from limiting beliefs. You know you are limited by your beliefs when you use expressions such as ‘I have to,’ ‘I should,’ ‘I can’t,’ or ‘I must never’ do something. The use of these expressions implies you also act under compulsion. Your limiting beliefs restrict the choice of options available to you. Each time such an expression comes to your mind, stop and think about what would happen if you didn’t have to. Usually, nothing much would happen and you gain a lot more freedom to act in the way you want.

Whenever an opportunity arises for you to get into a new situation, you do not want to hesitate but to grasp it eagerly. It is only in such an unfamiliar environment that you can begin to develop your flexibility. Many people are not able to change readily to meet new circumstances. They fear change. They only see the negative side of a new situation. They worry about things happening unfavourably. But the greater number of things they worry about does not happen. If you place yourself in new experiences, you animate and excite yourself. You get to learn to adjust to new conditions. You gain new ideas and new answers which can prove useful later in your life if they are not already immediately useful.

If someone is hostile towards you and you react in a like manner, you are not being flexible. There can never be any discernible benefit for the person to have the behaviour like that, so get eager to know why the person has such an attitude. When you attempt to understand the person’s way of behaving, you tend not to be overly reactive. Being reactive is contrary to being flexible.

You may instead want to know why you have been reacting to people and events in the way you always do. Get curious about yourself as to why you always seem to react like that. Think what would have happened if you had not reacted or if you had reacted differently, the outcome might be vastly different. A change in your response may possibly change or defuse the tension in a difficult situation. The next time, react differently and see what happens.

You can be flexible by adopting a different perspective. When you encounter insurmountable problems in overcoming a difficulty, try to see them from another person’s point of view. Ask yourself what someone else in your position would do to successfully deal with it. Looking from different angles and imagining what others would do will go a long way towards arriving at a solution. Henceforth, don’t get stuck to only one viewpoint. Try out as many perspectives as you can if you intent on being flexible.