No unresourceful people, only unresourceful states
Whether we like it or not and as long as we are alive, we are always in some state - that is the mental, emotional, or physical condition that we are in at any particular time. States vary in intensity and at times can last longer than normal. Being in possession of the right state at the right time is essential as it affects our interpretation of experiences, our health and the decisions we make.
States can be good or bad. The good ones could include the happy feeling or the feeling of being loved while examples of the negative ones are jealousy and anger. We could, whenever we wish, choose to change the state we want to be in. How we change our state is important especially in our relationships with other people. However, very often the state we are in is the result of our reaction to an outside event.
We can change from our present state to a more resourceful desired state if we are unhappy with our present state. We must have the motivation and energy in order to do that. The desired state must be an outcome we really want and is not for someone else’s sake or is forcibly imposed on us. We must also have the commitment to achieve the outcome and strongly believe it is within our capability to do that. It involves acquiring resources to reach the desired goal especially personal qualities including gaining skills or undergoing training and having supportive family members. For some, having money is all that is required to move to a desired state.
How we feel is important. The state we are in can have a strong influence on our performance in whatever we do including those activities that are easily affected by slight changes in our feelings such as school examinations, public speaking or job interview. In learning, how well we learn depends on the state we are in at the time. We have to develop the state that enables us to learn quickly, easily and enjoyably. Having the right state boosts our powers of retention. Likewise, a teacher is better off being in a good state himself or herself so as to elicit a learning state in the students. He or she could perhaps infuse the subject with humour or regale the class with interesting tales.
There are days when we are completely devoid of any mood for anything and end the day having not done anything. There are also days when we feel totally upbeat and could accomplish much. They are same type of days but different states of mind. Most of these states happen to us usually without our awareness. We do not voluntarily choose to be angry or unhappy. Our mental processes shift from state to state, thus affecting our physiology and our behaviour. We could however learn how to change how we feel or at the very least to have some control over our feelings. Being able to control and change our state at will gives us emotional freedom to deal properly with any events.
We unknowingly induce states in other people through our words, voice tones and body language. But often we are not aware of other peoples’ states. For a good relationship to be maintained, appropriate mutual responses are necessary. We could initiate to elicit a positive response by changing our actions or behaviour. We smile at them or utter a friendly greeting and a like response is usually reciprocated.
We could help change the state of someone with a melancholy expression to one of happiness. The methods we employ could include talking to him or her in a fast, excited tone of voice with matching body language, and recalling those past occasions when he or she was in a happy mood. It would be more effective if we could recollect his or her direct involvement in those happy times instead of their being a mere witness to those happy events.
It's advantageous to remember our states are continually changing at varying speeds and that they affect how we feel and how we behave. Rather than simply react to external events, we could choose to influence our states and the states of others in a positive way for mutual benefit.