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Self-condemnation

Many of us like to blame ourselves for something we have done or not done. We do realize that it happened in the past and that what was done was done and could not be undone, and what was undone was undone and could not be done. We cannot reverse what happened in the past however hurtful it was. It wouldn’t help, would it to blame ourselves? Yet we proceed to condemning ourselves without realizing that by doing that we are not going to change the past event.

Likewise, in other aspects of life, self-condemnation is the guilt complex we choose to suffer from in reaction to something bad that just happened to us, usually from no fault of our own or through carelessness. It’s largely negative and destructive thinking. What is really needed is forgiveness. We need to forgive ourselves and move on. Forgiveness frees us from guilt and self-condemnation.

What easily gives rise to self-condemnation is our impulsivity. We act or do something suddenly or without thinking about it before we do it. How often do we say or do something in reply or as a reaction only to regret a moment later. This usually happens when we lose our temper and verbally abuse someone or worse, resort to violent means by hitting him or her with something. When we are angry, we are not able to think clearly and as a result, act impulsively. Our subsequent remorse or self-condemnation cannot undo what we have said or done.

There are moments we unintentionally utter a curse or two and realizing too late that what is said cannot be withdrawn, or we shop and spend extravagantly to take advantage of discount prices, stocking up our wardrobes with clothes which remain unworn a year later. Whatever it is, it’s okay to see our errors without self-condemnation, and undertake to avoid committing similar mistakes again.

Leaders of political parties have experienced suffering a heavy defeat in an election. They would receive the election results with no self-condemnation. They readily concede defeat and resign. They carry out an analysis of their defeat instead of self-condemnation. Many factors were involved to cause the defeat, a number of which were beyond their control.

Excessive eagerness to excel at an activity or subject that leads to unsatisfactory results can easily end in bitter disappointment and self-condemnation, especially one is a newcomer. One should not have unrealistic expectations. Let good feelings prevail and the road to progress is smoother instead of running oneself down with self-condemnation.