Self-confidence is undeniably one of the most important human traits. Many capable and intelligent people live a life of obscurity, failing to realize their full potentials. Lack of self-confidence is the cause of this. Not being able to trust yourselves with the ability to do what you want to do is a serious weakness in your character that needs to be looked into. Start by examining yourself and identifying the causes that led to this weakness. Most of them are undoubtedly due to past conditioning.
Overcoming your lack of self-confidence is no easy task. After all, this confidence deficiency has been around in your mind for a long time. But somehow this deficiency has to be remedied if you want a better life. Developing self-belief is the immediate priority. To do that, you just have to build up trust in your abilities. It requires patient and sustained effort, and constant practice to develop this positive feeling that arises from an appreciation of your own abilities.
You become what you think of most. The brain is a very powerful organ. What you put into your mind determines what you are. Having confidence necessitates positive thinking. Fill your mind with positive thoughts at all time so that there is no place for negative thoughts. It is habit-forming that will result in increase in your confidence which you need to bring you success. Negative thoughts erode your confidence and reduce your courage.
You can use your imagination to gain self-confidence that you need for an event which you will be involved in. For example, if you are going to deliver a speech, you could visualize yourself walking calmly as you take the stage, giving an excellent speech with complete confidence, your audience listening with rapt attention, and at the end leaving the stage to thunderous applause. Imagination like this prepares you for anything you are going to do. It is the initial preparation that puts you at ease when the time comes for you to perform.
When your mind is made up on doing something, strive to succeed at all costs. Failure can easily lead to loss of self-confidence. The best way is to concentrate on what you are good at. If you value what you are good at, you are likely to be more confident doing it. Each success increases your self-confidence. Start off with easy tasks. Their accomplishments raise your confidence levels to take on the slightly difficult tasks and then the more difficult ones. Going about your tasks with enthusiasm is not enough. It is with full confidence that the tasks can be completed successfully.
The things you neglect to do that you know you should do, will only add to the things waiting to be done. This causes you to feel anxious and guilty. Think of the confidence to be gained by doing things promptly and thoroughly. By doing less than you could or not doing anything at all like being unemployed does not help in your effort to be confident and successful. If this is allowed to prolong, the long term effect can be disastrous. Doing less than your best is just as damaging. Completing what you do and doing them well gives you personal satisfaction. It raises the level of your self-confidence and self-worth. Resolve to always complete whatever you do in the best way possible.
Confidence can be acquired through interaction with other people. Birds of a feather flock together. Flocking together with confident people inspires you with the level of confidence that they possess. Avoid those who apparently lack self-confidence. When you feel nervous, anxious or not feeling confident while interacting, practise slow deep breathing which is the answer to your confidence problem. This method of breathing is very beneficial to maintaining a high degree of composure, and should be used until it becomes a habit.
It is easily observed that you who display full self-confidence tend to attract other people. You develop your confidence by assuming that they like and accept you as you are. In a relationship, you assume they enjoy and relish being with you. Act on this assumption and you inspire them to have positive perception of and interest in you.
Whatever you do, visualize yourself doing it with confidence. Do this habitually, and you build up your confidence. It is similar to regularly exercising to build up your muscles. Condition your mind to think you are a confident person and you will be capable of doing anything in your life.
If you can behave as if something is true, it can become a reality. Self-confidence is something that you can ‘fake it till you make it’. Acting as if you were absolutely confident can actually make you feel confident on the inside. When you feel confident on the inside, you become confident on the outside. Your confident appearance makes a favourable impression upon those around you.
Display your confident self by moving with boundless energy. Walk with a confident gait and let your body assume an upright posture. Wear a smiling expression and maintain eye contact with the person you are talking to without staring at him or her. Speak slowly and deliberately. Speaking quickly is a clear sign of lack of self-confidence. Behaving in a confident manner increases your self-confidence and self-esteem.
It’s unwise to procrastinate, or delay a responsibility or decision due to lack of self-confidence to deliver a performance. Procrastination tends to create more problems such as increased costs, failure to meet deadlines, etc. Besides, accumulated tasks, especially daily tasks, are liable to cause stress and anxiety, especially as the deadlines draw closer. To avoid loss of self-confidence, pieces of work to be done should be viewed as challenges. Each piece completely done adds to self-confidence.
When faced with adversity, you are never tempted to give up if you bring back the memory of similar difficulties which you have experienced and overcome with patient self-control and determined effort. By recalling your past ability to cope, your self-confidence level increases and you feel better able to cope with any problems you are likely to encounter.
You need to beware of your so-called friends, or even loved ones whose unsolicited critical comments or unfavourable opinions have the harmful effect on you as far as your confidence is concerned. Do not allow them to say as they please about you that can undermines your feeling of confidence and impedes your progress in life. You either warn them against passing such remarks again or avoid any contact with them completely.
A confident person does not mean he has to be noisy or over-energetic, and throw his weight around. He can be a person with a naturally soft voice. But those who speak softly may be mistaken to be lacking in self-confidence. A person who lacks self-confidence is easily perceived by others, by his or her mannerisms.
You may be a shy person, and you do not express your views readily. But there are occasions when you want to join in a conversation or take part in a discussion. You feel fearful or anxious about saying anything in the presence of the people because you worry about what they think or how they react. This harmful feeling is tantamount to feeling inferior. You should raise your self-confidence level to fulfil your true potential. Forget about what others think. Learn to believe in yourself and your abilities. If you have to be self-assertive, so be it.
Lack of self-confidence can be overcome by autosuggestion. Autosuggestion is positive self-talk. In other words, autosuggestion is a positive statement made in the present tense and repeated regularly to oneself. This must be accompanied by a strong belief that it will come true. Autosuggestion is used to change your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. You become what you think about most of the time. Likewise, you become what you say to yourself repeatedly and believe. If your affirmations are about improving your self-confidence, use them on a daily basis and you begin to notice the effect.
No real benefit can be derived by comparing yourself with others. By not comparing, you free yourself from worry and other negative feelings. If you think you are better than others, you may become proud and arrogant. You may become complacent if you think you are equal to others, and feel worthless if you think you are inferior to others. But in the majority of comparisons you make, you are more likely to compare yourself with someone whom you think is superior to you. This drains confidence off you, and makes you feel inadequate. Worse still, the presence of the ‘superior’ person makes you feel small or unimportant to be worthy of consideration.
Your belief determines your level of self-confidence. If you believe no one is responsible for your success but your own self, you become less dependent on external factors and events over which you have no control. You need to believe that success is attainable to anyone including you and that the harder you strive, the greater is the probability that you will succeed.
Other boosters of self-confidence include reading biographies of great men, and freeing yourself from constant worrying and other negative emotions. Appearance matters if you want to be a confident person. Proper personal grooming and smart dressing enhance your personal appearance which in turn raises your level of self-confidence.