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Self-control

When you have self-control you have the ability to exert control over your feelings and reactions, and to conduct yourself calmly and sensibly in difficult situations or when you are excited, angry, etc.

Self-control implies having the power to do the right things and refrain from doing the wrong things in life. In other words, focus entirely on the things you want and the things you want to do, and not to pay attention to those things that you don’t want and don’t want to do. But it requires strict discipline to do the things you have to do, and not to do the things you shouldn't do. Discipline – self-discipline – is an essential element in self-control.

Regularly practise calmness of mind and you are on the surest way to possessing self-control and attaining success. At the same time, eradicate those undesirable imperfections, and discard negative emotions in your character and develop those that are positive. You stand to gain tremendously and increasingly take control of your life. Cultivate the essential attribute of composure that has all along lain latent inside you and make maximum use of it. Composure is a rare quality and yours is likely to be much admired.

When you consistently practise self-control you are very unlikely to be unduly influenced by any emotions. You certainly gain much for yourself and emerge as a better person than many who lack the ability to their emotions or behaviour. For example, you do not totally lose your composure and begin speaking out loudly, or become moody and easily irritated at any times. You do not use profanities which you know indicate a lack of self-control and self-respect. Your qualities are quickly noticed, praised and imitated. Those around you benefit directly from your emotional stability.

Self-control includes mind control. Control your mind or it controls you. There is no other alternative. Mind control requires strict discipline to be successful. An effective method of managing your mind is to keep your mind fully occupied in some ways. Proper mind Cl facilitates the attainment of goals, success, happiness, etc.

One effective way to develop self-control is self-conditioning. Constantly visualize yourself with absolute self-control and act on a daily or regular basis as if you already possess this quality until it becomes a habit of yours. Frequently use affirmations and self-talks. These methods are effective enough to produce the desired results. When you have mastered self-control, you constantly appear calm and relaxed for these are your natural state. People think you are lucky to be born with self-control but you know better – it is the well-deserved reward of your careful and persistent effort.

Uphold your self-control resolutely. If there’s a moment when you exempt yourself from self-control and permit an undisciplined act, thinking that this will be the one and only infringement you will ever allow yourself, you are unfortunately giving way to self-delusion. This one precedent is enough to tempt you to commit more undisciplined acts in the future. Permitting your own self to commit an undisciplined act is itself a serious personal weakness. It must be eliminated.

What if an event beyond your control happens? Like the sudden death of a loved one. Or the weather rapidly deteriorates just as you are going out for a long-planned camping trip. Do you use your self-control to maintain your composure and accept the reality of the situation or become emotional or hysterical and spit out swear words to express your deep grief or disappointment? A person who retains his self-control in the midst of any adversity will undoubtedly emerge unscathed in the end.

Every time you begin to speak, control yourself to speak in neither too loud nor too soft a voice. Regulate your tone so that it is free from nervousness, anger, or other emotions. Maintain a low-pitched voice and the other person’s voice, which may be louder, will lower to match the same pitch. Noises – people talk, things drop, telephone rings – are unavoidable. Don’t let them upset you. Maintain your self-control at all time. Soon, it will be a welcome habit.

Fidgeting is a common problem that shows a lack of self-control. Such habitual gestures – moving your hands or feet, pulling at your tie, patting your hair, fidgeting with your pencil – are easily noticed by other people but unconscious to the doers, who could be nervous, irritable, impatient or bored. However, physical restlessness such as these can be effectively got rid of by putting yourself in control of your life.

Self-control is an essential requirement in leadership. A leader must be able to control his own self before he can control his followers. A leader who displays great self-control possesses a charm that can inspire intense devotion. His self-control serves as a fine example for his followers to emulate. Without self-control, a leader can never be able to develop charismatic personality.

Make a vow that from this moment on never to lose your self-control. If someone annoys you, or when you are faced with all kinds of problems, or beleaguered with too many things to do and too little available time, you may find it quite impossible to remain calm or relaxed. In such a stressful situation, discipline yourself to exercise control and restraint. This is a good practice in self-control. Breathing slowly and deeply helps to calm you down. Rather than complaining about other people making mistakes, bear in mind that everyone makes mistakes including you.

Look at those people who completely ruin their lives by their failure to successfully acquire and develop self-control. However, the majority of people have varying degrees of self-control.