No one expects you to be arrogant. Neither do they expect you to be self-deprecating. Just be truly realistic about yourself. If you are good at something, say it. You are not being big-headed. You are merely stating a fact. If you don’t make known your abilities and skills, no one knows about it. You don’t know when your skills will come in handy.
It’s never a good idea to be self-deprecating. The self-deprecating remarks you make about yourself is never going to do you any good. It’s not humility. It’s something else that is not beneficial to you, especially when someone else is around to listen. They will choose to believe what you say about yourself.
Think how you will feel if someone repeats to you the negative things you say about yourself. It’s definitely more hurtful, coming out from someone else’s mouth. So the next time, think again before you utter a disparaging remark about yourself. It could be used as a weapon against you if you have a dispute with them. They might add extra details to the remark that will surely hurt you more. They might also quote what you say about yourself to other people.
Are you, like people generally, reluctant to accept compliments? When people are praised for something they have done, they downplay it without a slight hesitation with remarks like “It’s nothing much”, “I’m just lucky”, “Without his help, I won’t be able to do it.” The next time you are praised even if unexpectedly, just say “thank you very much” and carry on with your work or whatever you are doing. If you are not sure what you are praised for, seek clarification before uttering “thank you”. Denial of a compliment is not being fair to you. Most people mean what they say when they compliment you except a few who do it out of selfish motive.
Everyone likes jokes and laughter. People are attracted to a person who tells self-deprecating jokes, that is jokes at his or her own expense. People enjoy self-deprecating jokes and they respect and like the one who tells self-deprecating jokes. Self-deprecating jokes must never be at the expense of someone else. Perhaps, once in a while a deprecating joke you crack about yourself is harmless but not too often.
You are worthy of respect and admiration, so stop belittling yourself. Always behave in an appropriate rather than self-deprecating manner. Failure to do so lowers your self-worth and thus your self-esteem which is what you need most in your life.