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Home What is fear? Fear of rejection

Fear of rejection

What is fear?
The obstacle that prevents many people from doing what they want to do such as pursuing their ambition, undertaking an enterprise, etc is the fear of incurring the disapproval of other people, especially those closely related. They choose not to do something that they believe rightly or wrongly is very likely to incur the displeasure or risk rejection from someone else. By not doing what they want to do, they achieve nothing.

Underlying the fear of rejection is the constant need to avoid disapproval. The decisions of those who live in fear of rejection are always dictated by the feeling of ‘I have to’. They only feel right when they have to do things that are approved by others, and refrain from doing anything that are not approved by others. There are those who feel a fear of rejection if they don’t make it in whatever they are doing. They are fearful of what other people will think or say about them if they don’t make it.

People who fear rejection often stay away from engagement of any sort, especially emotional or personal relationship lest they suffer disappointment. As their fear is greater than the risks they have to take, it merely perpetuates their aloofness. This is further reinforced by their readiness to come up with at least an excuse or a reason that is good and acceptable only to themselves, for their non-involvement with others.

To overcome the fear of rejection, repeat to your own self ‘I don’t have to! I don’t have to!’ and be absolutely convinced that this is a fact as you have the choice. You can choose to go along with ‘I have to’ or ‘I don’t have to’. You already know that you don’t have to do anything if you choose not to, and you can choose to do something only if you really want to. Do not allow yourself to fear rejection. Reject rejection for your own sake.

Be fully aware that your personal happiness is the primary goal of your life, just as it is of other people. You are not responsible for the happiness of other people. Neither are other people responsible for your happiness. In pursuit of your goal, you cannot help being yourself, and you are likely to displease some others. This puts you at risk of being rejected. Expect constant rejection and when it comes you won't feel too bad about it.

The more you fear rejection, the greater is your need to seek approval of other people. Free yourself completely from such dependence. You don’t have to be approved by others in what you do. Prepare yourself mentally to accept disapproval even if you have never done before. Soon, you will get used to being rejected. This will free you to make your own choices.