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How easy is it to worry?

Whenever there is a situation that makes you feel fearful or anxious, instead of thinking of the best possible way to handle it, you think of the worst possible thing that can happen and the worst consequence that can arise from it. If the thing does happen, it is usually not worse than what you think.

When things are good, you worry too. You doubt the good things are real or the good times will last so you say “It’s too good to be true”. If you accept they are real, you doubt they will last, so you worry unwisely. For example, you are into an ideal relationship with another person, and through worrying that the relationship will not last or that the other partner may be unfaithful which may not be true, you tend to behave in ways that can only destroy the relationship.

You are bound to be overly obsessed with worry if you place too much emphasis on what others think of you, whether they like or dislike you, what they say behind your back, and much more. What they think, say or feel about you does not in any way affect your self-worth. You only need to uphold your self-worth because that is the only thing that matters to you, not some external factors. You cannot stop people from talking, gossiping or rumour-mongering, but you can stop yourself from worrying about their attitudes.

You doubt your ability to be victorious in a contest or competition. You worry and hesitate to participate. Later, you end in regret for not joining. Instead of doubting and worrying, have you ever thought of just plunging right in as a participant? But then again, when you don’t emerge victorious, you feel you have confirmed your belief that you aren’t good enough to participate. It is your worrying that something won’t work that creates the very result you fear. “Whatever you think about, you bring about.” Perhaps, if you were free from worrying, you could have emerged victorious. Worrying is extremely harmful.

Lying triggers off endless worrying. You think you can get away with lies and so you tell them. But then you know you have to always remember them so that you can tell them again, and they have to tally with the lies you have told previously. Otherwise, the different lies about the same things will give you away. Meanwhile, you live with constant worry that you will be found out and nailed as a liar.

Do you sometimes worry about your problems without taking the efforts to seek solutions? Perhaps, you find it easier to worry. A student who worries about not having finished her homework finds it easier to worry than to spend more time doing her homework. You worry about putting on more weight but you are not refraining yourself from overeating. You have problems but worrying will not solve your problems. You have to find solutions. If the problems are beyond your ability to solve, you can always seek outside help.

You have to be responsible and resolve to accept what you have inadvertently done wrong. For example, when you make a bad mistake, rather than worrying about it, you get prepared to accept the consequences that will follow and think of the best way to deal with them. You treat the mistake as a lesson to be learnt and learn you will to avert its recurrence. Such an approach is preferred to worrying which does not help in solving any problem.