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Worrying is a choice

No one is born a worrier. If we worry, it’s because we choose to worry. Worry arises when we are overly concerned about things that may happen to us. Whether they are real or imagined, it makes no difference to us. We still worry. In our imagination, lots of bad things can or are going to happen to us although there is no basis for such presumptions. In spite of that, we still worry constantly about them as if worrying can ward off their occurrence.

We worry about a host of things, many of which are well beyond our control. We worry about our health, the weather, a possible traffic jam, other people’s opinions of us, whether they like us or not and what they say about us. For some, their worry is centred on one or two things which they have become excessively obsessed with that might go wrong. They never give a thought that it may not go wrong, for example, worrying about a spouse being unfaithful.

When we worry constantly about something, we attract the very thing into our life. We worry about not being able to perform an action. Sure enough, we are not able to do it as all the worrying has drained away all our confidence. Worrying, merely serves to perpetuate the problem. If we are experiencing a deficiency, we ought to seek replenishment, failing which we search for close alternatives instead of worrying about it.

We can choose not to worry. It isn’t that easy, neither is it impossible. We have been worrying for a very long time. We can’t just remove an entrenched habit overnight. If we want to be free from worry, there must be an effective way to rid ourselves of that nasty habit. Try asking ourselves whether our worry is serving a useful purpose. Is our worry signaling to us to amend or change an aspect of ourselves or our way of life? It’s an illusion that a negative habit can be useful. Just don’t give it power and it does not bother us.

Perhaps an effective way lies in reminding ourselves each time we start to worry that our worrying does not remove the problem. It only prolongs or worsens it. But are we able to convince ourselves sufficiently not to worry? For example, worrying about money is the most common of all worries. It’s simply because every one of us needs money. Others who have enough money or more than enough to meet their needs still worry as they want more money because others are having more of it.

Worrying about money is the most common of all worries. It undermines our mental state. Many people identify money problems as their biggest problems. Since money problems cause stress, distress, and harm on a family, attaining financial security or financial independence must be a primary responsibility. Anyone can acquire wealth, and avoid the constant worry about money. Drawing up a sound financial investment plan and investing one’s savings in it eases if not frees one of financial problems.

But understand that if we worry about money all the time we will always experience money problems. If we complain over and over again about our job or our employer we are always encountering problems at work. If we are full of anger and resentment, we constantly attract negative and unhappy experiences into our lives. If we want to win a game but are worried of losing it, we play to lose. We get more of whatever we complain about most of the time. So why worry?

We can prevent worrying from happening by keeping our mind fully occupied. One good way is to immerse ourselves in something we have to do or are enthusiastic about. This should enable us to maintain firm control of our mind so that it does not have time to dwell upon the things that cause us unease or anxiety but focuses on pleasant or joyful thoughts.

No one wants to be around someone who does full-time worrying. Stay well clear of them lest we end up modelling their worrying habits.